I feel a little bad for not updating the past couple days. My mood hasn't really been the best. I guess go tour sucked away all of my energy, and global is also this weekend, so I've been doing more and more with my room to compensate not being able to do anything this weekend from 10-6 both days. I've finally hung clothes in my closet. It feels so strange. What gets me motivated to clean and make my room feel like my own space is RONDOUG's vlogs about living alone in LA. He's inspiring and resonates with me for "trying to make it" in LA, even though I was born here and lived here my entire life, and I guess it helps me cope that I'll never have an independat future, so it's best to be mindful and make it with what I have now. Idk.

Pokemon Presents was also today. We was robbed, but I think they're saving all their 2026 game releases for 2026, Pokemon's 30th anniversary. But oh my god we were only given 1 game announcment, 1 game trailer, and the rest was mobile game stuff. Like yippee for a new Pokemon Revolution type game, but holy shit. Just 2 console games?? I may be a little disillusioned due to watching an old E3 presentation for the DS and they did LOGO teasers. I'd LOVE logo teasers. But I'm so full of cope bc I wanted a fucking Rangers title.

Today's also my T shot day. I made an appointment for bloodwork next Thursday, and it's a 12 hour fast. Bleh.

It's my birthday today.

Spent all day cleaning. Bweh.

ough my bones

My current issue is that I have 5 10k eggs left from yesterday. I would not be mad at getting ANY more shiny pokemon, but I did not know that the egg hatching addon I got would last the entire weekend. I'm staying home to clean my room still, I can't be going out hatching eggs all weekend. But I will TRY. Once these hatch, I'll go on a little drive and get more eggs.

Go Tour: Unova day.

Okay, I'm writing this the day after. That was awesome. My final shiny haul after trading with my friend, with trades being itallicized, and everyhting being from end to start of the event: Sigilyph, Heatmor, Alomomola, Ferroseed, Throh, Heatmor, Woobat, Cubchoo, Throh, Deerling (Winter), Zorua, Basculin (Red Stripe), Scolipede, Tirtouga, Stunfisk, Blitzle, Axew, Sawk, and Kyurem. I also hatched a shiny Clampearl after I wrote my journal entry for the day prior.

Unfortunately no shiny Audino, Frillish, Gothita, or Yamask, which were all my chases, but my friend also didn't get any so it's not like we both lost. He got almost every Deerling season, I traded my Spring one to him for the Venipede, but Winter Deerling is my ultimate favorite Deerling color. I did offer him my shiny Ho-oh I got at LAX after coming home from Too Many Games (like I was waiting for the bus and I remote raided it. It was nuts.) for his shiny Reshiram. Then I offered his missing Deerling, of course. It went from "I'll consider it..." to "Fuck no." very fast. He got some of his chases, too. Like I said, all but one of the Deerling, a Lilipup, and a Cubchoo. Then we went to Sonic afterwards.

Today's been a lot of nervousness and success. I'm too excited for tomorrow, even as I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep. It's tour time. I don't know if I'm going to bring my poke all plus +, due to my INCREDIBLE FAIL LAST GO TOUR. Where I pressed the catch button when it flashed yellow, meaning that there was a roaming legendary. It was also shiny, meaning it was a guarenteed capture. Except if you used the pokeball plus +. It will NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. NEVER. AGAIN. I will post a picture of my haul once I return.

My nerves are also still shot, due to giving myself my first t shot today. Myself!! All I had to do was smack the area as hard as I could to distract from the pain, sanitize it, then inject. Easy peasy. I was totally not shaking during and after I did the shot. Not at all.

My PROPER SUBCUTANEOUS NEEDLES are ready for pickup at my pharmacy, so that's the journey after work. Tomorrow will be my first subcutaneous shot. Confetti. I'm also going to start putting songs I'm listening to with these journals. Like it's fucking myspace or livejournal or deviantart or whatever.

The last 2 weeks have been both a blur and a buzz due to a lot of loss and gain and upcoming events and important changes happening. Firstly, my sweet Guy Furry had to be put down due to complications from a hiatal hernia (a portion of the stomach has passed through the diaphragm and was causing him signifigant pain). We've only had him for almost three years at this point, and we're Due to his heart and age he would not have been able to have another surgery, so the kindest thing to do would be to end that pain. We have another older dog with his own myriad of unfixable health issues, who was very depressed after several days. We decided to adopt two new dogs, not to replace Guy, never to replace him. We lost a life, now we have space to go save another. We decided on two due to our remaining dog being old, he's between 14 and 16. It wouldn't be fair for one new dog to befriend this old dog and then he goes and passes away, then new dog would be all sad and alone. So two dogs. They are also puppy age. We have never had puppy dogs, so everything's felt so new with them!

Next, this Friday (2.21) I probably won't update my journal because it's Go Tour: Unova. This is the first Go Tour I'm going to that isn't global, and I WILL be hatching the regional exclusive shinies so help me god. I WILL get another shiny Frillish (my first was one in BW full odds in 7,215 encounters). My hitlist is, in order of seasons on LeekDuck's website: Woobat, Minccino, Pansage, Munna, Audino, Venipede, Cottonee, Petilil, Foongus, Pansear, Tympole, Blitzle, Darumaka, Stunfisk, Panpour, Yamask, Gothita, Solosis, Frillish (of either gender), Elgyem, Golett, Druggigon, Shelmet, Larvesta, Heatmor, Maractus, Sygilith, and Bouffalant. Any costume Pikachu variants are welcome as shiny, too, as well as Unown. And of course!! Shiny Reshiram and Zekrom! I'm still going to soft reset for shiny Kyurem in BW because shiny kyurem will probably be released in raids after this.

Then I'm going to clean my room over the weekend (still working on it!!!), and give out toyhou.se codes (they're worth under 70 cents, do not give people asking for art anything your art is not worth less than a dollar). Then Monday is my birthday.

Been pretty tired. Did some mild doomscrolling (cringe /neg) and felt pretty hopeless. Yes I have been slacking on cleaning my room, but this is the consequence of working a day job. I know these are getting mildly short, I have a longer entey planned tomorrow about my dogs. Doing this update on my phone, too! Android OS handles this like a dream. I've also been modding Stardew Valley, and it's like pulling fucking teeth.

Went to the hospital again to learn how to do my own injections proper and get more comfortable with the thought of injecting myself. TURNS OUT. My injection needles that are AN INCH long are NOT the subcutaneous like I was prescribed! So I have to go back AGAIN possibly Wednesday to get my correct needles. I was given a subcutaneous needle for this ths Thursday's injection.

I spent all of the day CLEANING. I have gotten rid of SEVERAL hand-me-down purses from my mom. Now I just need to migrate enough shit to another place in the house for like half a day just to do what I want to do. I've gotten rid of all of my pre-briefs underwear and bras as well, so one of the two storage drawers all of those were in, I can set out for someone to take. I can then take a storage bin I have, one of those big plastic tubs, and put it in there, and have enough space to hang my clothes. I could keep one of them to put all of my art supplies in and put it on top of the tub. And I'd still have space for hanging my clothes. I'd say in 1 to 2 weeks, my closet will be completely usable again!

I did NOT forget this journal. I worked my ass off today after chilling for a suitable amount of time. AKA I played games all day and then worked ceaselessly for like an hour and a half. Holy shit I want to beat the fuck out of 3 years ago me SO BAD. WHY DID YOU DO THIS. But I managed to find ome things that bring back memories. Didn't so much else, but it was a good day!

Nothing big or major today. I've been pretty bummed today. Hunter the Parenting Chapter 5 releases today, so that's something to look forward to. Have also been planning my next new horizon's island when the switch 2 comes out. It's stupid they limit you to one island per console but that's understandable given how much you can fit on an island. That's a LOT of data. My concrete villagers are going to be Biff, Cherri, Stitches, Chief, Margie, Julia, Kidd, Bella, and Tiffany. And one more, but that's up in the air at the moment. I'm super particular with how I do things in my games, I hate doubling up on anything, whether it be type combos in pokemon, classes in D&D, whatever. In this game its villager personalities and their subtypes and species. So the list is a bit big for that. The candidates are Clay, Erik, Drago, Celia, Julian, Roodney, Bam, Ken, Stella, Papi, and Raddle. I do this thing where I plan and plan and plan but when it comes to doing the plan, it either falls apart or I don't do it. But with things like this, I can do it easily. Probably because I make my own amiibo cards and literally do not need NMTs to hunt for villagers.

Speaking of doing things, started the first part of cleaning up my room. I did cable managment like I've been meaning to do for weeks and weeks since I bought a thing that hangs under my desk for power strip storage. Now to just. Pick and choose what to do tonight. After the HtP chapter 5 premiere and dinner.

THAT SHIT HURTED WHAT THE FUCK

Yesterday was pretty good, aside from the raging headache I had for a few hours last night. I don't know if it's a caffeine headache or if pain relief helped, I drank a monster and took 2 motrin before it went away. It's been raining pretty good here, but the main bulk of the storm is supposed to be here by 3. That's right when I'm driving from my hospital to pick up the last needleparts I'm missing and my tires are balding. So my plan is to take side streets the entire way down to my friend's house to learn how to do my T. Between hospital and then, I'm picking us up Coffee Bean. And I'm obviously not gonna talk anything about what I do for my dayjob bc that's boring as fuck. Doing this journal also wasn't like a New Years Resolution sort of deal. I just want to do something like this to catalogue my day-to-day without feeling like I'm clogging my social media with shit nobody wants to hear.

I have a lot of plans I want to do in the future that isn't just digital art or animation. I want to make music this year. I want to start making content. Content is so fucking hollow to say lmao. I am purchasing an expensive capture card for myself as a birthday gift and I want to make pokemon content. Or just variety content where I post shit about games I like. I also need to optimize my OBS because I CAN'T DO 1 TB OF VOICES OF THE VOID VIDEOS AGAIN. I want to also MAYBE upgrade my computer so I can do literally anything else while also playing a game?? That's like less in the realm of possibilities, but I'd like to. I've been becoming a lot more independant the last few weeks. I bought a phone with my own money, I'm saving more money. LIKE. NOT ENOUGH TO MOVE OUT AND PAY RENT (IMAGINE...), just enough to make a little dent in my actual credit card debt.

I DO need, when I get home, to start cleaning my room. The feng shiu is FUCKED and I really do need to clean or downsize. I have a really hard time saying goodbye to objects. Slight hoarder tendencies, but I think I should be fine enough to start getting rid of things. Like. I literally do not have access to my closet. ...oh god i need to clean my closet. But like. idk. A clean room is a clean mind or some shit. To quickly explain how my bedroom is: my room is 10x10, I have a twin-sized loft bed, and my desk space is underneath my bed. It's a 5 foot clearance and I sometimes 8 foot 11 bridge myself going under. I want to, somehow, hopefully, maybe not this year, downsize the bed entirely to a single bed thats to the floor. Making my room my own space, something that feels like mine? I'd love it. I'll try downsizing when I get home today.

Update: Fear of needles won. Had to have my friend do it to me. It's the insertion that makes me want to freak the fuck out.

New day for the journal. Slept so well but I'm still so damn tired. Save me B12. Forgot my target order pickup yesterday, so that's got to be done today. It's just bodywash, so it wasn't like mad important, but still, whoops. My pharmacy also didn't have the needle to actually get the goop out of the vial, so I go back in Thursday to pick it up. Also go back in Monday to get a lesson on how I inject it.

Today I'm starting my daily journal.

Today is also the day I got injectable T from my insurance (LIKE UNDER FORTY FOR EVERYTHING????) instead of paying 200~ for my gels. This is not a trans timeline, I've already been on testosterone for almost 2 years at this point, but this is for me to overcome my fear of needles. I'm honestly really tired right now so this is going to be a short journal unless I decide to addd more and make it better tomorrow.